We're Not in Port Charles Anymore
by dreamweaver71
Summary: Sam journeys to the land of Oz
1. Chapter 1

"Ugh" she said as her head hit the pillow. Today had to be the worst day of her life. She ran into Carly who told her to stay away from Jason, then Jason told her to stay away from Liz, Liz told her to stay away from Jason and Jason and Liz made an ambush on her to tell her to stay away from Jake.

Wait, did that make any possible sense?

"Whatever…" She mumbled to herself as she changed into her comfort clothes. A tank top with sweats and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. This was so much better than listening to Liz and Jason rant on about how much of a danger she was to Jake. She turned the TV on looking for something decent to watch. Not Deal or No Deal (too much of a chance to make a bald joke at Howie Mandell), or House (much better looking at Patrick), or Grey's Anatomy (once again, much better looking at Patrick).

"God, why is there nothing on?" She said as she went to her DVD case. There had to be something here to watch and take her mind off of things.

"Ah-ha, here it is!" She pulled out a DVD covered in dust. The Wizard of Oz, one of her favorite movies to wind down from. She popped the movie into the DVD player and settled back down on the couch.

Not even 2 minutes into the movie, Sam had fallen asleep.

--

Sam looked groggily around for a timing device of some sort. All she remembered was putting in a DVD and blacking out. Her vision was blurry but she finally found a digital clock and threw it across the room. It was only 2 a.m.

"God, why did I have to wake up at this hour at night?" She said as she walked back to the DVD player for the second time tonight. Sam stopped in her tracks as she noticed the infamous tornado scene paused on her screen.

"Damn DVD player froze on me." She whacked the player with her hand and at that same moment her windows flew open with strong gusts of wind forcing its way inside.

"What?! What's going on?!" She screamed as she looked around in panic. She looked outside, noticing this was not an ordinary windy day. She was in the middle of a twister!

"When the hell is there a twister in Port Charles?!" She stood there in shock of her outdoor surroundings, watching things fly by in the twister. Trees, cars…and…was that a cow?

"That's it." Putting her head in her hands and continued. "Rum Raisin Ice Cream has more rum in it than you think. I have to be drunk right no…what the hell?!" No, this couldn't be.

"Lucky, Nikolas, Jason!!" They were in the tornados. They bodies not flailing in mid air but more like waving good-bye to her. "Wait!!" She yelled as she stretched her arm out, trying to reach them. Too late, they were gone.

She looked down in disappointment for a second and looked up again, this time noticing a green skinned woman wearing all black fly by on a broom.

"Elizabeth?"

She gave out a shrill, wicked laugh before flying off into the tornado. Before Sam could say anything else, one of her windows smacked her right in the face, forcing her into a deep sleep…

--

Sam didn't want to open her eyes. The more she moved her head around, the more it felt like a hangover. "Oh god, what happened last night?" She finally got up; forcing herself to ignore the pain her head was giving her. Looking outside, she noticed the sun, the blue sky, the trees…this so could not be Port Charles.

Soon, the apartment was filled with light chanting noises coming from outside. Curiosity getting the better of Sam, she decided to open the door and find out who was singing. She was in complete and utter shock at the sight before her. People would call her insane if she told them what she saw.

Munchkins.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uh…hi?" She said to the fearful little munchkins. They all took cover as they caught a glimpse of Sam, running into tiny houses, diving in water, and one Munchkin hid behind Sam, thinking she wouldn't see…

"No, wait. I won't hurt you. I'm just as confused as you all!" She tried reasoning with them but got frustrated and stomped her feet after getting no response. She wandered around slowly, taking in the scenery around her. These houses were as tall as her and the people were a quarter of her size. Halfway through her wandering, she saw something pink floating in the sky…

"Dear, dear children. She is not a witch. In fact she is a hero."

"M…M…Maxie? You're the good witch of the north?"

"I am not Maxie, I am Glinda, good witch of the north."

"Once again, you're the good witch of the north? With major emphasis on the good?!" Maxie ignored her and turned her head towards the munchkins.

"This woman's apartment killed the wicked witch of the east. My children, you are free!" Sam looked back at her apartment, realizing that it had been on top of a pair of legs in stripped stockings. Which made her question, how did her apartment magically separate from a huge building and not break at all?

"The witch is dead?"

"The witch is dead!" She completely forgot she'd be stuck in these long musicals and tried to find a way to stop the instruments before…too late.

Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!  
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!  
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is -Stop!!

The munchkins stopped singing and turned around to look at Sam covering her ears. "Can't you people stop singing for once?"

"It's in our freakin' contract! What do you want us to do?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry but, did you just give me attitude?"

"Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Both of them now nose to nose in each others faces.

"Ever hear about a store called Dunkin Donuts?"

"Why would I care about a store named Dunkin Donuts, idiot?"

"They have munchkins on the menu!" Sam yelled at the ghetto munchkin forcing him to shut up and think how a munchkin would be served…Before he could think of the gruesome image a shadow blocked the sun from his face and looked up to find the Wicked Witch of the West.

"You killed my sister!" The witch said to Sam. " So I guess now I'll kill you!" She swooped down on her broom, aiming for Sam's head but then Glinda magically put ruby red slippers on Sam's feet.  


"Stop witch. As long as Sam has these shoes on her feet, you cannot harm her." Sam looked down on her feet and noticed the blinding red slippers on her feet. Maybe the sun would reflect off of them and burn Liz's face off…hmm. Liz coughed, trying to get Sam's attention away from her feet.

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little boyfriend, too!" Yeah, there was seriously no doubt that was Elizabeth. Liz flew off on her broom, leaving the citizens to cheer in excitement.

"Look, Samantha. In order for you to get home, you must follow the yellow brick road. That will lead you to the Wizard and he will help." Sam started to walk on the path, knowing now, she had to find the scarecrow, the lion and the tin man.

"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick-" Sam glared back the munchkins and yelled out Dunkin Donuts before they quieted down and headed back to their homes…

…in fear.

--

"Ok," Sam said to herself. "Now, if I remember correctly- I'm supposed to meet the scarecrow first. So where is he?"

"Have you checked the corn field?"

"No, I haven't checked the…wait, who said that?" Sam said as she frantically turned around. All she saw was a cornfield and…Nik?

" Nikolas?" All he did was shrug his shoulders. Sam took in his appearance. Overalls, plaid shirt, a worn out hat and hay sticking out all over his body. Of course, Nik's brain tumor, he needed a brain so he's the scarecrow. Oh my god it actually made sense for once!

"You…scarecrow…you talk?" He nodded his head, up, down, and shrugged his shoulders again. "I don't know, you see, I can't make up my mind. Without a brain the answers are so hard to find. I can't tell the difference between reality and unreal. Now my life has really no appeal."

"You're gonna start singing, aren't you?"

"Would that bother you?"

"Greatly, yes. Look, I'm going to the wizard to see if he can take me home. You wanna go and see if he can give you a brain?" Nik gasped in excitement as he pulled Sam's arm and started skipping down the brick road.

"We're off to see the wizard,  
The wonderful wizard of Oz!  
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz  
If ever a Wiz there was!"

Two more characters Sam. Two more characters singing and you don't have to hear it anymore…


	3. Chapter 3

Sam listened to Nik's solo piece during her walk on the Yellow Brick Road. Sure she was annoyed at some point and yes, she wanted to take his overall strap and strangle him at one point, too. But, she had to admit he would make a fabulous Broadway singer one day. If Helena would only approve…

"Ni-Scarecrow?"

"Who are you again?"

"I'm Sam, I met you on the yellow brick road?"

"Oh right, for some reason I'm picturing a girl in pigtails with a dog and a blue plaid dress…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have no idea what's gonna happen next. Right?"

"Well, next is in the future and I do not know the future. Hell, I don't even know why I'm following you."

"We're going to see the Wizard."

"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

"Oh god." She said as she put her head in her hands. She looked up again noticing Nik was about to bump into someone. "Nik, look out!" she cried as he ran into the figure. Decked out in silver apparel and a funnel hat, she knew she had found the tin man.

"Lucky?" No response. Of course, he wasn't 'Lucky' he was the "Tin Man?" She walked closer staring at him straight in the eyes. "Why aren't you answering me dammit?"

"Mhmm, mhm mmmm mhmhm" He said with this mouth closed tightly. Of course, he needed oil. "Oil, oil, where is oil?" She looked around his body trying to find an oil well or a cup or container. She spotted a flask near his feet and opened it to see its content.

It smelled like vodka. She put some in her mouth. Damn, it was vodka. She looked back at Lucky who was giving her a few more 'mhm's. Lucky took after Luke more than he would admit. She took the flask and poured it on all of his joints, watching Lucky shake out his creaking limbs.

"How did you end up like this?"

"You see gun near my feet?" Sam looked down noticing the gun he was talking about. "I tried to shoot down the Wicked Witch of the West and it started to rain so I was rusted right in this spot." She couldn't figure out why Lucky was the one with no heart...

"Well, you look great right now." Said Nik.

"You look like C-3PO from Star Wars."

"What?"

"Uh…Nothing" Sam said. "Look, I know you need a heart so you wanna come along with us to…him?" 

She pointed towards the Emerald Castle.

"Who's him?" Lucky asked.

"The…uh…wizard." Sam said quietly, hoping Lucky and Nik didn't hear her.

"The wizard?"

"The Wizard! The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" What was the point of avoiding it? She linked arms with Lucky and Nik and skipped down the yellow brick road. One more creature left.

--

"This forest is mighty scary Sam" Lucky said as he hid behind her.

"Yeah, this place gives me the heebie jeebies." Nik replied. Heebie jeebies and mighty? Oh yeah, they would do great in Port Charles. They got even jumpier with every swish they heard in the bushes.

"What was that? A lion?" Nik said

"A tiger?" Lucky said

"A bear, oh my!" Sam quickly caught on to what she just said. She couldn't believe she was tricked into it…

"Lions, and tigers and bears oh my." She repeated into the bushes, grabbing Lucky's ax at the same time.

"Lions, and tigers and bears oh my, lions, and tigers and bears oh my, lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" She saw the Cowardly Lion pop out of the bush and whacked him as hard as she could with the ax. She saw him grab his face in pain and crouched down on the ground.

"What was that for?"

"Weren't you trying to scare us? Hmm Cowardly Lion? Or are you scared of me too?" He shook his head as he ran behind the bushes. "Yes, everything terrifies me. I'm even afraid of myself! I was so scared, I threatened a female munchkin that I'd kill her if she harmed my tail. Harmed my tail! What kind of threat is that?!" He looked up showing his blue eyes to Sam. No doubt this was Jason. He didn't have the courage to stick up to Liz and claim his son. That made sense too. And didn't that story sound oddly familiar?

"Well, if you're a coward, how could you be the king of the…forest?"

"Well, if I had a little courage, then I could claim all that I deserve."

"If you were a king you wouldn't be scared of thing?"

"Not a man, or a mouse, or a phone ring"

"You wouldn't be scared of a rhinoceros?"

"That would be imposerous!"

"You wouldn't be scared of Ephiphany?"

"I would chase her for an entire eternity!"

"What about a Sonny Corinthos?"

"I would beat him down into the earth."

"You wouldn't be scared of an Elizabeth Webber?"

"I would yell at her with a…a chebber!" What the hell was a chebber?

"You wanna come with us to the wizard?"

"The Wizard? The Wizard! The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" They all sang as they skipped down the yellow brick road again. Sam was tense, waiting for the moment Liz would unleash the sleeping poppies upon them.


	4. Chapter 4

They walked along the yellow brick road once more, hoping to find this wizard that would grant them all their wishes. Nik was on one side of the road, skipping merrily and humming. On the other side was Lucky and Jason, glaring at each other whenever they could get a chance.

"Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion? Why do you keep glaring at each other?" Sam asked innocently. "Is it because you like each other?"

"No!" Lucky said with an appalled tone.

"Maybe."

"What?!" Sam and Lucky said in unison.

"Er…no!" Jason said defiantly.

"Then why the cold stares you two?"

"You see," Lucky said as he stopped in his tracks. "I used to go out with this girl and this girl and I were very serious. One day I got hooked on oil and she left me. Guess who she started going out with?" He said as he pointed to Jason.

"Well she needed someone and I was the closest one to protect her."

"Protect her? You can't even protect yourself! You're afraid of counting sheep!"

"Hey! Is it my fault they have hooves that can trample you to death?" Jason brought his tail up to his face, finding little protection behind it.

"Anyways," Lucky continued. "Now that I've been seeing someone new, Jason and the girl are jealous." Jason grumbled as they continued walking towards the Emerald City. Sam noticed that there was an eerie difference between the Tin Man's story and the story she was going through. Was this a sign? Was there a 'wizard' in PC that could give her a stable man in her life? She was so wrapped up in her thoughts; she hadn't noticed the figure looming behind them on a broom

"So I see you're going to the Wizard of Oz to get your wishes granted. Too bad it's my job to stop you." The Wicked Witch said as she flicked her fingers, making poppies appear out of the ground. The gang looked around, noticing the poppies spewing out some powdery substance.

"Oh Damn," Said Sam "The…sleeping…poppies…" She couldn't start cursing out Elizabeth because she and everyone around her had fallen asleep. But, leave it to the good witch to come to the rescue.

"Wicked Witch, why must you destroy these people chances at happiness? Haven't you done enough?" Maxie said as she tapped her hand with her wand.

"Well, if I'm not happy, they can't be happy." Liz said, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.

"You're such a bitch, you know that?"

"Shhh!!" Wicked Witch said, flailing her arms around. "The censors don't allow that!!"

"Well the censors and you can kiss my…done!" Maxie said as she waved her wand. Soon snowflakes began to fall from the sky, causing the gang to stir from the ground.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I fell for that…" the Wicked Witch said as she jumped on her broom. "I'll get you, don't you wait!" She flew off, leaving Maxie to deal with the others.

"Dear travelers, beware of the Wicked Witch. She is going to use every trick in the book to try and stop you. But remember, as long as you have those ruby red slippers on, she cannot harm you Samantha."

"Yeah, I know. But, don't you have anything a little more fashionable? Like stilettos, or opened toe?"

"Do I look like a shoe store to you?"

"Maybe?" Sam chuckled nervously, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Go before I stuff you into Tin Man's empty chest." Sam got wide eyed and ran for her life, letting the others follow in the same pace.

"Why did I ever sign up for this?" Cried the Good Witch to herself.

--

"Look, at this place. Isn't this beautiful?" Nik said as they walked into Emerald City. The city was covered in all green, not a freaky disgusting green, in a more pleasant elegant green. Like the city's label said, it was emerald. The gang looked around high and low for the Wizard, finding nothing of the sort.'

"Where can one very old wizard be hiding?" Sam thought as she looked down a well. Turning around in her spot, she almost banged her nose into a very elaborate door.

"Where does this go?" She looked up the door noticing a sign that said 'The Oz'

"That would've been so helpful 5 minutes ago." She said as she pushed the door open, leaving open for the others to follow. She walked into the center of the room, listening to the booming voice over the speakers.

"Wha…what? Who goes there?"

"It's Sam, Cowardly Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin Man. We want you to grant our wishes. Please?"

"Sorry, no can do."

"What?! We went through all of this just to get rejected? No way, you want to come behind that curtain?" Sam said walking over to the curtains in the corner.

"Er…no…wait! If you want to grant you a wish, you must get me the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West."  


"You're kidding right?"

"Nope, get me broom, I'll get you your wish." She walked out of the room, shoving the Cowardly Lion into the Scarecrow. To think the curtain threat didn't work…


	5. Chapter 5

"Great" Sam cried as she threw her hands up in defeat. "First I get launched into the Technicolor world of Oz, attacked by merciless Munchkins and Wicked Witches, and now I have to go face to face with her and her freakin' flying monkeys." They had just gotten an assignment from the Wizard to get the witch's broom. Sure it would've been easy, seeing as all you needed was water but, she was with the most incompetent team of people she had ever seen. Nik wouldn't stop skipping, which feared her greatly, Jason coward at every little thing to cross his path, and Lucky was this close to being drunk of his own vodka. How the hell did Dorothy do this?

"Look guys," she said, facing the misfits. "We have to get the witch's broom or else none of us get our wishes. Now, we're almost to the castle. Anyone have any bright ideas?"

"We could run away from her." Jason said, peeking from behind Nik's shoulder.

"Cowardly Lion, you always suggest running away. We're not gonna do that anymore. We are going to fight that pathetic excuse of a witch to the end. Even if that means we get bruised along the way. Besides, what could she do to us anyway? Give us horrendous looking warts and ugly green skin?" Sam laughed at her own joke while watching the eyes in her group grow larger.

Sam widen her own eyes as she realized something "She's right behind me isn't she?" Jason nodded his head as Sam slowly turned around to meet the face of Liz.

"You will pay greatly for that mistake Samantha."

"And you will pay greatly for a case of breath mints 'cause your breath is nasty!" Liz snapped her finger, causing a lightning bolt to separate Sam and herself. Sam didn't want to stay and hear the rest of Liz's threat so she decided to pull a cowardly lion like the rest of the group and run.

"This is so not cool!" Sam yelled back at an angry Liz. They stopped in the middle of the forest, running out of time and energy.

"Well, you'll think I'm the worst when I send my Flying Jakes out to get you! Flying Jakes!!" She cried out to the castle.

"Oh god no!! Not the Flying…Jakes?!…wait, what?!" Sam shook her ear, hoping to hear things more clearly. She looked up into the cloudy sky, noticing figures with wings swooping down in their direction.

Normally, Sam would have beaten them off with a bat but, this was very, very strange. It was true. As strange and demented as it sounded, there was Jake, multiplied by 50 and headed down towards Sam and the gang. She tried to run away, but the Jakes grabbed hold of her in random places.

"Hey, hey, hey. Watch it!" she cried. "You guys aren't old enough to cop a feel, yet." She was dragged into the castle, watching the helpless faces of her friends grow smaller and smaller until she could see them no more in her steel cage.

--

"Let me out of here witch!!" Sam said as she shook the cage. No amount of strength or nerve could break this thing.  


"Then give me the slippers Samantha and everything will be right with this world."

"Well, I can't give you the slippers unless you kill me. Duh" Sam closed her eyes in shame and rested her head on the bars of the cage. Why in the world did she tell her that?

"Well then, if I must kill you, then kill you I must." She waved her hands, producing a hourglass with red sand inside.

"When this hourglass reaches its last grain of sand, you will die Samantha and I will get those shoes." She let out a wicked laugh as she walked out of the chamber. Great, now how was she supposed to get out of here?

"Nik, Lucky, Jason? Help?"

--

"Look," Lucky said to his fellow comrades. "We have to rescue Sam. She's our friend and deserves our help."

"Right" Nik and Jason said.

"We have to get passed these guards first though. Any ideas?" Nikolas just shrugged and Jason bit his finger nails.

"Ok, how bout this? We throw Cowardly Lion out there to distract them, while me and Nik ambush them. Deal?" Nik and Lucky never waited for a response from Jason before they threw him into the solider infested hallway.

"I hate you guys!!" Jason yelled before the soldiers got ready for attack.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey guys." Jason said, putting his hands up in defense. "Now, do you really want to get me? I mean what use would I be to you? Would you use my hair as a mop?" He chuckled lightly, hoping the soldiers you join in on his joke. Instead they put their swords and shields up, ready to attack.

"Um…so yeah. I'm gonna go now. Nice seeing you." He ran off, never looking behind to see the hoards of soldiers following.

"Why can't you people love?!" He yelled back at them as he passed random corridors. Lucky and Nik pulled him into a corner, disappearing from the soldiers' sight.

"Look, we have to find a way to get Sam. Trying to fight the soldiers isn't doing us any good."

"We need a disguise of some sort. So those mean soldiers won't pick on us again." Jason said as he peered at the confused soldiers.

"We need a wig…" Nik said

"…Or a helmet." Lucky replied.

"Where were you going to get a wig Tin Man?" Nik said, taken aback by Tin Man's stupid suggestion.

"Where were you going to get the helmet? Idiot." They turned back into their little circle, throwing off ideas into the air that seemed too ridiculous to pull off. No one, not a single person, could think of a way to rescue their fair Sam. Until, the Cowardly Lion stood up.

"C'mon guys. We're going to ambush those soldiers. Now."

--

She sat there in her cage, running her steel cup on the bars. It had been only a couple of minutes since she was kidnapped but it felt like hours. She looked at her kidnapper, lying on a bed, feet up in the air, and talking on the phone like a common teenager. 1st of all, when was there electricity in this town? And 2nd, who would want to talk to the Wicked Witch?

"Hey over there!" Sam yelled. Liz paid no attention to her victim and just laughed her wicked laugh over the phone once more. Sam was disgusted by this and threw her cup at Liz's head, forcing the woman's attention towards her. "Hey you!" Sam yelled obnoxiously.

"What do you want?" Elizabeth said, clearly annoyed. "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Yes, that's why I want to interrupt you as much as possible." Liz groaned and focused her attention on the annoying subject.

"Why are you doing all this Wicked Witch? Why you gotta kidnap me? What did I ever do to you?" Liz walked over to her cage, sticking her nose in as much as she could.

"You look like someone that I despise."

"Don't you despise everyone?"

"Yes, yes, that is true. But I have a special despise for her. She took something from me that I cherish the most."

"She took your virginity?"

"Eww! No!! She took the man that I liked." Sam wanted to laugh at this point. Who would love the Wicked Witch? "And now." Liz continued "I'm going out with another man that she wants."

"Wow scandalous. Now why should I care?"

"You just asked me!"

"Well now I'm bored. Got any board games?" Liz sighed as she walked away from Sam. Out of all the hostages, she had to be the most annoying.

--

"Wow! I can't believe we pulled his off!" Nik said, skipping down the corridors, again. "We actually BAM! And BANG! And WOOP! We actually beat those guards and got their uniforms!"

"Yeah that's because most of them tripped over a crouching Cowardly Lion over here." Lucky said as he adjusted his uniform. Walking around in armor when you're made of tin is quite uncomfortable.

They walked in the hallways, up the stairs, down the hallway, down the stairs, and up an elevator. What kind of freaked up looking castle was this? They reached a stairway that led to a door.

"Ok, if that door lead to another elevator, shoot me now." Lucky said to his crew as they went up. They went up opened the door and looked inside to what seemed to be pure and utter chaos.

There were board games strewn all over the floor and in between the mess were an arguing Wicked Witch and Sam.


	7. Chapter 7

"What is going on here?" Nik said as he and the others walked into the Witch's lair.

"I give this idiot a chance at a board game and what does she do? She throws the game on the floor."

"Well excuse me if I wanted to be the to be the car. It's my good luck piece."

"Well, the car is my good luck piece too!" Liz said as Jason restrained her flailing arms.

"Well, I thought you wanted to be the Scottie Dog because you're obviously the real bitch here!" Lucky and Nik both grabbed at one of Sam's arm, fearing that something horrible would happen if she came in contact with the Witch.

"Seriously Witch, why are you after me so much?"

"Because you look like the woman that stole the man that I liked!"

"But I didn't steal anybody from you Witch!"

"Are you kidding? They're with you at this very moment!" Sam looked around, desperately trying to find the man she had stolen from the Wicked Witch. Was it the soldiers? Nah, they were all outside. Was it the Flying Jake? No that would be to damn creepy, even for television. She finally let her gaze fall on the 3 travelers she had picked up in Oz. Oh god, you had to be kidding.

"Are you serious? You're in love with one of these guys?" Sam said as she pointed to them in audacity. Then it clicked to Sam. It all made sense now. That was why Jason and Lucky were so mad at each other. That's why Liz was bent out in revenge mode. She wanted Lucky and Jason!

"Excuse me for a moment." She stepped into a corner, shivering off any impure images that formulated in her head. So many questions and so little time. Like, how did Jason and Lucky get involved with a woman like the Wicked Witch? Who knew the witch had a heart buried beneath all her evilness? And since when was dating in the Wizard of Oz?

"That's right." Elizabeth said as she sat down on her couch. "I used to be with the Tin Man, but then I went moved on to the Cowardly Lion. Now I've realized what a mistake that was and I want the Tin Man back but, now they're both infatuated with someone else…"

"…and that someone else looks like me."

"Correct. You see Sam, when that woman snagged my lovers away, I turned jealous. And you know when people turn green with envy?"

"You literally turned green!" Sam wanted to laugh at the witch's misfortune. If that happened in real life, Jason would've thought twice before sleeping with Liz.

"So I needed revenge on those poor fools. I took the thing that they needed most and destroyed it."

"What about the Scarecrow?"

"What about him? He's a scarecrow that was built with no brain. How you came across him is beyond me."

"I'm sorry Wicked Witch. You weren't trustworthy enough." Lucky spoke up.

"Yeah, what he said." Jason joined in but, both were ignored.

"Now that you know my secret Sam, I can't risk you telling anyone else. Or your little friends, too. Guards!" She yelled as the door was blasted open. Surrounding the gang were a group of soldiers with pitchforks and torches ready and willing to kill them.

"Run!" Sam yelled as they spread out into different corners. Lucky and Jason managed to climb up above the soldiers, missing their grasp by a couple of feet. Sam dodged left and right, kicking down heads and punching out stomachs as she tried to free herself. She looked over spotting Lucky and Jason but no Nikolas. Her heart sank as she heard Nikolas scream.

"No!! I'm not flame resistant!!" He cried as he ran around the room. Sam had no idea how she got out of the mob but, she did. She hoped she could find a source of water before Nik was burnt to the ground.

"Where do you think you're going Sammy? You're missing out on all the fun!" Liz cried as she chased Sam on her broom. C'mon there had to be some sort of water supply here. She moved her head left and right frantically before she spotted it. A bucket of water was conveniently placed near Liz's couch.

"Scarecrow! Stop moving!" Nik stopped in his tracks as Sam threw the water onto his body. It barely missed his arm but, his arm was now cool and smoke free. Unlike the Wicked Witch before him.

"No, no. I'm melting, melting!" Liz cried as her height diminished inch by inch. "Who the hell put water in my castle?" No one answered and no asked any more questions as Liz's body became no more than the clothes she was wearing.

"Is it done? Is it over?" Sam said she walked over to Liz's remains. She lifted the hat and saw the green pool that was supposed to be Liz. Finally Liz was gone. Now if only this wasn't in the land of Oz.  
"Good Job, Samantha. You have managed to get rid of the Wicked Witch of the West." Sam looked up noticing the white dust falling from the sky. No other than Maxie to show up at this time.

"Thank you Maxie. I think we done good."

"Thank goodness that witch is gone. She was giving me such a headache, following me around while I was wearing that ridiculous wig to go out with those t-." Maxie widened her eyes and covered her mouth in shock.

"Wait a minute. You're the woman these 2 have been fighting over?"

"Uh…look if you want to go home, take that broom and go to the Wizard." With a blinding flash of light Maxie was gone. Sam was going to have a talk with her later.

--

"Yo Wizard! Wizard of Oz! We got your broom now give us our wishes!" Sam yelled as they stormed into Emerald City again. She was sick and tired of all this, and she just wanted to go home.

"Eh…what was that? You got your boom back? That's good for you!"

"No, you idiot. We got the broom back!"

"Oh…uh…well, I guess I need to give you your wish, don't I?"

"That's what I have been trying to tell you, you old kook!"

"Well, uh…I can't grant your wish right now. The magic pot is empty and I need some more…vodka to ease the pain."

"Vodka? Vodka?!" Sam ran toward the curtain, missing the restraining hands of Nik, Jason and Lucky. She tore it down, revealing the last person she would expect in the land of Oz.

"Luke?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Luke? I can't believe you're the wizard."

"Who is Luke? Luke Skywalker? Luke Wilson?" In that moment of shock, she had completely forgotten that Luke was not Luke but now he was the Wizard of Oz.

"I'm sorry Wizard…sir…uh…grand poobah."

"Damn right I'm the grand poobah of his land. Now that you've finally gotten that broom from that pesky witch. I guess now I have to give you your wishes. So what do you people want?"

"Well, I want to go home, the Tin Man wants his heart back, the Cowardly Lion wants some courage, and the Scarecrow wants a brain…scratch that, he needs a brain." They both looked back at Nikolas skipping around the room…again.

"Hey!" he cried. " Just because I don't have a brain, doesn't mean I don't have ears."

"Whatever, look. Can you please grant us our wishes?"

"Fine, fine. One by one, step up on the platform and I'll grant you your wish." Nik suddenly ran up to the podium, pushing Lucky and Jason out of his tracks.

"I want a brain, so I can finally know what's real and what's not."

"Ok, son. Here goes nothing." The scarecrow was surrounded in a bright light as Luke started to recite his spell.

"Boom shakalaka, boom shakalaka…" Sam didn't want to know how a song like that could be…magical. She covered her eyes as the brightness got unbearable and when she opened her eyes, there stood Nikolas. The real Nikolas.

"Scarecrow, do you feel any different?"

"Scarecrow? What are you talking about? I'm Nikolas, remember? Your princely cousin from your mother's side?"

"Uh…yeah…" she was so confused right now. Nikolas then walked up to her and grabbed her hands in his.

"I just want to say thank you Sam. Thank you for helping me make my decision."

'Um…what's your decision, again?"

"I'm going to have that surgery. I know Emily would want me to live life with my son and never leave him. But, she knows she'll always have a place in my heart."

"Aww, Nikolas, that's so sweet." Nikolas hugged Sam and ran out the door, into another blinding light. She was happy she could help Nikolas along, even if it was in the strangest of settings…

"Ok, I haven't got all day. Next up!" He walked off into the light, leaving the Cowardly Lion to go next.

"Ok, 3 more c'mon, c'mon." The Cowardly Lion stood up on the platform finally. Hopefully, the last of the blinding light hit her, forcing her eyes closed and then opening up to see Jason.

"Jason, you're back." She was a little hesitant to get near him, after all they had been through.

"Thank you Sam. Thanks to you, I finally have the courage to do the things that I was never able to do this year. I can finally claim my son as my own and move on from Elizabeth."

"You're welcome Jason." She saw him walk away into the light. Finally leaving her and the Tin Man alone.

"Ok, 2 more to go!" The tin man walked up to the platform, causing Luke to become confused.

"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? You look familiar."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. So can I have my wish now?"

"Of course." The same blinding light engulfed Lucky as Luke said his magic words once more. When Sam looked again, there was the normal Lucky.

"Lucky, how does it feel to have a heart back. Wait, let me rephrase that. That sounded wrong."

"No, no. it's ok. I needed a new heart because my old one is with you. I don't know why it's taken me so long to admit it but Sam, I really do love you. I have no idea how I would've gotten past these couple of months without your love." Sam started to get teary eyed as she and Lucky started to kiss. Too bad Luke wasn't in for a show.

"Look you two. As much as I love this General Hospital moment, you all have to go. My pookie bear is waiting for me and I haven't had any in a long time."

"Ewww." Sam and Lucky said as they shuddered in discomfort.

"What? I haven't had any vodka in a while. What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing."

"Whatever, now look you two. It seems like you both want to go home. So Sam, Lucky, tap your heels together and repeat after me. There's no place like home, there's no place like home…" Soon the room was filled with the ever so popular chant and Sam noticed everything was turning black.

"There's no place like home."

"There's no place like home."

--

"There's no place like home."

"Sam"

"There's no place like home."

"Sam"

"There's no place like…"

"Sam!" She jumped up as she felt someone shaking her. Looking around, she realized that there was no longer any green walls surrounding her, no Luke, no blinding lights, just her apartment. She turned towards her left, noticing Lucky sitting on the end of the couch.

"Lucky, what are you doing here? Where's Luke and Emerald City and the Munchkins?"

"Sam, what are you talking about?"

"I was just in the Land of Oz, going thorough the same storyline as in the movie. You were the Tin Man, Jason was the Cowardly Lion and Nik was the Scarecrow."

"Sam, have you been drinking again?"

"No! I swear this all happened. In the end, you said that you loved me and that you had my heart."

"Well, at least part of that dream was true." Lucky said as he put his arms around Sam.

"Which part was that?" Sam said into his chest.

"That the Munchkins were real." She slapped him on his chest as he whispered 'I love you' into her ear.

"Lucky?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you will never leave me alone in the house with the Wizard of Oz and Rum Raisin Ice Cream."


End file.
